Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
false alarm, still single
Randomize
