I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
