I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
