We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
