FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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