If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Drunk is not a location!
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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