My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
