Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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