i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
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