I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
