how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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