well I can't set my house on fire every night
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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