if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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