Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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