He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
