dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
