The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
