He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
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Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
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I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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