Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
