i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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