yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Randomize
