I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
