Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
