haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
zippers are such a cool invention
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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