I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
