I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
