The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize