The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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