New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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