so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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