i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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