it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
