I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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