is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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