I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
