I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
