He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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