Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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