Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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