They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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