Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
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