Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize