Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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