all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
