This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
