It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
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A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
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He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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