i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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