the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
