From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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