Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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