so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
