he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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