When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Randomize