Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
