i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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