Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
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I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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